
I chose you as my secret keeper.
I made you a bracelet.
We picked out our nick names.
And drew plans for adventures.
I wrote down the measurements of my heart,
And whispered them through a soup can to your ear.
The fort we built together
Should have lasted the long years.
East of Atlantis,
Ten steps from your dad’s garage,
Screaming at the rain,
“We are the thunder gods!”
I am a girl on fire.
A blow torch kid.
A phoenix adult,
the “Hey Jupiter” wind.
I am Doc Holliday,
the northern Sun,
the black edge of the thunder
a misfit on the run.
“And I loved you.”
I whisper through the wind on my guns.
And I jumped from the swings,
landing bloodied kneed just for fun.
“One for the the MONEY!”
I chose you as my friend.
I chose you as the one.
“Two for the Show!”
Come under the blankets with your flashlight.
“I have something to show you.”
Your eyes widen.
“I have never seen scars like those before.” You whisper.
“The closet monster,
chases me down every night.
I am scared as hell
but I put up a fight.”
“What does the closet monster look like?”
“You don’t really want to know…” I say, touching my fingertips
together in sequence, afraid……
“No I do, tell me about it, I am your friend.”
We lock pinkies,
You promise until the end.
I put my soft lips on yours.
He walks down the beach. Black Suit and tie, winged tip feet. Long walk spider on slender thighs, white faced and perfect, skipping stoned burning tides. His lips pull back, the edges of knives. Was it your scream, or was it just mine? When he pulled back his face, and dropped his jelly eyes?
You pull back.
Gasp.
Throw off the blanket.
and grasp
your shoes
And run home.
I am stiff as a stone.
Shivering bones.
And the closet monster sticks a few skinny fingers out the door.
And begins to cackle,
Because,
I am alone once more.
“Three to get Ready!”
I grow up.
I wear a black suit,
white shirt,
pants and
black tie.
I walk the monster right.
A blue heart around my neck,
to remind me
of your eyes.
I wonder about you, my secret keeper.
Are you safe in the night?
Will you ever forget,
the shadows you saw in my sight?
“Four to Go.”
………………………………………………..sometimes,
Everything screams in my dreams at night.
I have the ashes of so many experiences on my shoes.
The reaping and the wailing,
the surrender of troops
the sonic booms!
Hung heads,
and praying hands.
I
find myself shivering
In the shower shine
of hospitals,
and remake rooms.
Wondering when and what will break me?
and why I still think about you.
I am a girl on fire.
A blow torch kid.
A phoenix adult,
the “Hey Jupiter” wind.
I am Doc Holliday,
the northern Sun,
the black edge of the thunder
a misfit on the run.
Maddie Holliday Von Stark